2025-01-23 || 20:27

Once again i am reminded that worrying too much about the future only makes things worse. At this moment, things are going well. Work is as usual, and daily life, albeit a bit boring, is treating me better. It seems my presence here has improved my grandma's mood by a lot, and the same can be said about my own mood. Not living alone, having people to talk to daily, or simply greet, has made me feel a bit more comfortable. Though sometimes i feel this nagging thought in my brain, that i'm losing my independence by staying here, urging me to go back to my own apartment. Whenever i think like this i inevitably always get a bit sad. It's an unfortunate thought, and not even a true one at that. Living here is helping me a lot, i'm taking better care of myself, eating better, living better. Does sharing a roof with my family even make me more dependent? i am not sure. i hope not. Anxiety is still something that messes with me, and this is proof. Sometimes, when i start feeling that way, i try distracting myself with something i enjoy doing, a videogame, a chat with someone i enjoy talking to, funny videos, a comic, whatever. Sometimes it really helps. Sometimes i feel nothing. Might be boredom, or the need to try something new. Whatever. i should not be complaining with the life i live now. It may be weird sometimes, but it's a good life.

...and about my therapy. Yeah, i've been trying for a few months but i still havent managed to get it properly scheduled. i hope it begins soon, maybe this is what i'm looking for all along.

Don't worry, i haven't given up on the site. i just havent been feeling all that excited to work on it. Updates and improvements will come. i'm not really feeling up to it right now, but eventually it's gonna be back as my hyperfixation if i know anything about this silly little brain of mine :3